Counseling Using Self-Theory Tuesday, Aug 4 2009

Abstract
In the book Science of Mind, Ernest Holmes describes psycho-analysis as “a systematic analysis of the subjective thought. It (psycho-analysis) is based upon theory that nature is perfect and when let alone will flow through man in a perfect state of health” (Holmes, 1926/1938). With psychology being developed during the time of Holmes, his ideas were in line with self-theory instead of Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory of the time.
In this research, the author will examine the theoretical process of self-theory and its therapeutic techniques and principles. The theory will also cover a brief history of its development and other theories and thoughts that have stemmed from its roots.

Introduction
With the emergence of numerous psychological theories over the years, one could say that choosing a theory is worse than choosing a pair of shoes to wear for a special occasion. In order to avoid such an inner turmoil, I decided to choose the theory that was closer to where my ideas and thoughts find themselves currently as a student.
After reading through the few theories that were written in the book, Counseling: Theory and Process, written by James C. Hansen, Robert Rossberg and Stanley H. Cramer (1972/1994), I found myself following more and more after the ideas and concepts of humanism, or self-theory. Although there are many branches off of this theory, I decided not to delve into an area that could take far more time to understand than the time given for this research.
To try and comprehend every theory and theorist under the self-theory guise would nearly be impossible to do. Although it is able to be done over a matter of time, with the amount of time given to complete this task, I found it impossible to find many additional theories under this self-theory umbrella. However, with various ideas that presented themselves throughout the course of this research, I chose to include a few thoughts and their thinkers into this concentrated area of humanism/ self-theory. With the evolution of humanity and science, “…theory is being continually formulated and revised…” (Rogers, 1951), making current thought on self-theory more advanced than it was in the early, middle, and even latter years of Carl Rogers’ career.
Gordon Allport once said that “the goal of psychology is to reduce discord among our philosophies of man and to establish a scale of probable truth” (1955). In a previous text he relays that “general psychology…selects a single attribute or function that can be conveniently isolated for study” (Allport, 1937). William Wundt believed that psychology examines the complete content of experience in its associations to the subject while William James added that psychology is the science of limited minds, and while Edward B. Titchener said that psychology is the study of familiarity measured as reliant on any person (1937). All of this, though more than 70 years old, still holds true to today’s thoughts and ideas of psychology as being a science that deals with the mind and emotions (Agnes, 2007). The belief of what it does or what it is could take a number of pages if one were to look at all the various thoughts and ideas on the subject matter and would also become increasingly uninteresting, therefore, these ideas will be the basis of psychology for this research.

Method
In order to conduct the research for this project, there were two methods used. By using the Chapman University Leatherby Libraries, I was able to obtain numerous books and articles on self-theory, humanism, or any other number of thoughts under these guises. I also sought out the services of Google.com to find various web sites to assist in additional thought or theory that could be of use for this research.

Results
By conducting research through numerous means and in order to determine the factors that need to be included in self-theory, I was able to use ideas from Gordon Allport and his personality and trait theories, Carl Rogers and his psychotherapeutic techniques, concepts on theories of personality, thoughts on personality testing, ideas that have been previously presented by Heinz Kohut, and various other humanistic approaches. (Kohut himself, although he predominantly followed Freudian or psychoanalytic theory, he eventually makes two very conceptual shift’s; first from psychoanalysis to drive or discharge theory and second to the primacy of self experience (Gottesfeld, 1984). This later shift began the development of Kohutian theory. Although some of his thoughts were specifically found in the primacy of self experience, they follow very much in the guise of self-theory.)
The ideas and thoughts of which abnormal psychological issues that are able to be supported with this theory will be examined in minor detail at the present time and will be further studied at a later date. While looking at self-theory, we find that the locus of control appears to be a vital aspect in itself. Through many previous research projects that involve the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) communities, as well as self-esteem concerns, the locus of control appears to be a highly important factor in psychological research. This vital part of self-theory originated from Julian B. Rotter and his social learning theory (Mearns, 2000/2009) and “refers to people’s very general, cross-situational beliefs about what determines whether or not they get reinforced in life” (2000/2009). Mearns also said that people can be categorized along a gamut from incredibly internal to extremely external. Christiansen, Baum and Bass-Haugen said that “Rotter introduced locus of control to suggest that individuals may limit their choices…based on their beliefs about the control they have over the outcomes of events” (2005). Although locus of control is not highly discussed in self-theory, it is a vital part of the theory and its relative components.

Discussion
The history of psychology dates back to Alkindus in the ninth century (Yaqub Ibn Ishaq Al-Kindi, 2002) eventually evolving into ideas set forth by Descartes in the 16th and 17th centuries (Fancher, 1979/1996) and has an in depth history that defines its principles and ideas through modern day. In modern day psychology, the history has evolved from great minds such as Immanuel Kant, William James, John Watson and many others. This history has caused an evolution effect in psychology that has allowed new theories to be born from thoughts of how older theories work. Self-theory is one of these theories which have evolved from both classic psychoanalytical theory and neo-Freudian thought as well. Some of the many supporters of self-theory have included Allport, J.F.T. Bugental, Charlotte Buhler, Maslow, Rollo May, Gardner Murphy, Henry Murray, and Rogers along with humanists from other disciplines as well (Humanistic, 2001). Much of (self-theories) construction has revolved about the construct of self (Rogers, 1951).
It was Carl Rogers’ view of human nature that brought forth his humanistic/ person-centered therapy/ self-theory to the light of day. This theory would off a fuller concept of what it means to be human and would become known also as the “Third Force” according to Abraham Maslow (Humanistic, 2001; Glassman & Hada, 2006). Rogers started studying the humanistic approach in the 1930’s and since then it has grown to be one of the foundational theories used n psychology today. Duane and Sydney Shultz describe humanism as a system of thought in which human interests and values are of primary importance and the humanistic psychologist argues against psychoanalysis and behaviorism, arguing that these systems present too limited and demanding an image on human nature (Schultz & Schultz, 2001). It was acceptance and respect that Carl Rogers chose the core concepts of his approach to therapy as he understood such a powerful impact to be on the individual (Branden, 1994).
To understand self-theory, one needs to look at the fundamental principles and theoretical perspectives that allow it to help in psychology. With the examination of the several components of humanism, we find six main components of humanism or self-theory. Each of these six components were explored and consist of; core principles, the explanation of maladaptive or abnormal behavior, the therapist’s role in relationship to the client, the goals of counseling, the treatment plan, and the therapeutic techniques. It was this therapy, also known as Rogerian therapy, that was one of the first major alternatives to psychodynamic therapy that helped open the field to new approaches and the paving of the way for psychologists to practice psychotherapy, which had previously been considered the exclusive territory of psychiatrists (Comer, 2007).

Core Principles
When looking at the core principles of self-theory, one of the main ideas presented by Carl Rogers was that everyone is basically good or healthy, not bad or ill (Hansen, Rossberg, & Cramer, 1972/1994; Boeree, 1998/2006). Rogers did not believe in the ideas that Freud had presented of everyone has a mental illness or is inherently bad. This led him to his main thoughts on the individual.
Every part on the organism’s existence, specifically its experiences, or the phenomenal field, and the self (Hansen, Rossberg, & Cramer, 1972/1994), which includes self-esteem, self-concept, self-image, self-affirmation, and self-actualization (Allport, 1955), produces change which aids the person in endeavoring toward self-actualization. It is through this process that we are able to view the organism’s personality development. This then helps to draw a distinction between what are matters of importance to the individual and what are merely matters of fact. This is the first thing an adequate psychology of growth should do (1955).
The theories principles are entirely built on a single “force of life” that Rogers calls the actualizing tendency, or the basic human motivation to actualize, maintain, and enhance the self (Boeree, 1998/2006; Schultz & Schultz, 2001). These principles are based on the valuing process of the organism that includes; positive regard or another way of stating this according to Kohut is selfobject (yes, this is a correct spelling, according to the text) which refers to an aspect of the person’s experience of another person (Ornstein, 2002), positive self-regard, conditions of worth, and proper conditions of normal development (Boeree, 1998/2006; Ewen, 1998; Hansen, 1972/1994; Schultz & Schultz, 2001). This assists in the development of the “fully-functioning” person and their characteristics. This is also brought about by several important factors awareness to all experience, existential living, appreciation of all experiences, organismic trusting, experiential freedom, creativity, and a continual need to grow (1972/1994; 1998; 1998/2006; 2001).

Maladaptive or Abnormal Behavior
It is more than likely that the individual has experiences during early childhood that leads to maladjustment or maladaptive behavior. This is relative in theories across the board. Because of the necessity for positive regard, the organism eventually renounces its feelings, at least to some extent (as in Karen Horney’s theory) and ultimately incorporates the parental (or leadership) feelings into the self-concept. This is a process for which Rogers borrowed the Freudian term introjection (Ewen, 1998). It is through this process that the conflict develops between actualizing and self-actualizing concepts and ultimately brings about the abnormal behavior.
The failure in the process of the proper interaction of the organism, the phenomenal field and self can bring about noticeable characteristics of those who fail in this area (Hansen, Rossberg, & Cramer, 1972/1994). Estrangement seems to be the beginning of the maladaptive behavior taking place in the self in which the organism may need to seek out therapeutic assistance. This estrangement begins when the person, or organism, strives hard, or finds that they have a need and desire for the positive regard of others. This ultimately leads to the incongruity of self, a state of anxiousness and confusion, and ultimately the idea that the individual organism needs to develop defense mechanisms in order to keep the person’s perceptions of experiences consistent with the self-structure (1972/1994). To understand this in a better sense, let us take a look at an individual who has had an obstructed view of themselves and the world around them.
David grew up in a home that he felt had no love for him. His mother was married more than once, had a temporary bought with drugs and alcohol, and eventually was left to raise her three children on her own. David felt that his mother never believed him and that she would always stick up for the man that she was dating or married to. When David was in his teens, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Eventually however, he decided that he did not like what the drugs did to him, as is the case with many individuals diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Over the years, David has not been true to himself and has found that the only was to try and obtain positive regard from others is if he elaborates every story to make himself look better. This has led him into severe incongruent behavior; constantly lying to others, making threats on others lives when he feels that he is being threatened by others’ words, and stealing anything that he desires from even his closest of friends and his own family. To make the matters worse, David has found that even his anxiety level has changed for the worse and that he constantly has to defend himself and deny what others say about him in order to try and continue the cycle of looking better to others in order to gain their positive regard.

Therapist’s Role
The therapist’s role is not to try and fix the client, but to help them discover what they need to do by just listening and concerning themselves with the client’s perception of the self and the world (Carl Rogers:, n. d.), as well as through reflection (Boeree, 1998/2006). Reflection, however, must be used carefully and must come from the heart. It is “in the field of therapy that the first requisite is a skill which produces results” (Rogers, 1951).
The primary importance of the therapist’s role is stated in three conditions, genuineness or congruence, empathic understanding, and unconditional positive regard (Boeree, 1998/2006; Carl Rogers:, n. d.; Schultz & Schultz, 2001). Schultz and Schultz describe genuineness the best, “the counselor, in a sense, is transparent, allowing feelings and behaviors to occur within the relationship and with the client” (2001). Avril Thorne wrote “that it is…necessary to understand the motivations or goals of the individual” (Thorne, 2007). Gordon Allport said that “Rogers, in effect, asks counselors to sit back and, with little more than an occasionally well-placed m-hm, to encourage the patient himself to restructure and re-plan his life” (Allport, 1960).

Goals of Counseling
The goals for therapy do not lie on the therapist, but on the client. It is the client’s primary responsibility for the direction of therapy to flow where they desire (Carl Rogers:, n. d.). Rogers believed that people can regulate their behavior and develop their goals under the proper circumstances and that if the conditions are properly provided, the behavior will be positive and socially acceptable (Hansen, Rossberg, & Cramer, 1972/1994). They also believe that the counselor’s presence or behavior does not directly influence the client’s behavior in a counseling relationship.
In his 1942 book, Counseling and Psychotherapy: Newer Concepts in Practice, Rogers lists twelve therapeutic techniques used in counseling the client:
I) The individual comes for help.
II) The helping situation is usually defined.
III) The counselor encourages free expression of feelings in regard to the problem.
IV) The counselor accepts, recognizes, and clarifies these negative feelings.
V) When the individual’s negative feelings have been quite fully expressed, they are followed by the faint and tentative expressions of the positive impulses which make for growth.
VI) The counselor accepts and recognizes the positive feelings which are expressed, in the same manner in which he has accepted and recognized the negative feeling.
VII) This insight, this understanding of self, is the next important aspect of the whole process. It provides the basis on which the individual can go ahead to new levels of integration.
VIII) Intermingled with this process of insight is a process of clarification of possible decisions, possible courses of action. (This should be emphasized that the steps outlined are not mutually exclusive, nor do they proceed in a rigid order.)
IX) The initiation of minute, but highly significant, positive actions.
X) Once the individual has achieved considerable insight and has fearfully and tentatively attempted some positive actions, the remaining aspects are elements for further growth.
XI) There is increasingly integrated positive action on the part of the client.
XII) There is a feeling of decreasing need for help, and a recognition on the part of the client that the relationship must end (1942).
It is at this point that the termination process of the counselor and client needs to begin and it should involve 1) assessing the client’s readiness to end the counseling process, 2) resolving any remaining affective issues, and 3) maximize the client’s transfer of learning and increase their self-reliance and confidence to maintain the changes (Hansen, Rossberg, & Cramer, 1972/1994). Rogers believed that the counseling process also included releasing expression, the achievement of insight and the closing phases.

Treatment Planning
It is clear that there are five main areas of the treatment plan. These include the worth of the individual, the nature of the counseling relationship, time limits, focusing on the individual and the here and now (Hansen, Rossberg, & Cramer, 1972/1994).
The worth of the individual is one of the primary reasons that the client most likely chose to originally seek therapy. By becoming an alter ego for the client, the counselor is able to help the client see themselves outside of themselves. This is done in part by being perceptive and sensitive to the client and their experiences. The counselor also assists the client by having a nonthreatening and nonjudgmental atmosphere that will welcome the client’s feelings into the structure of the self.
The next part allows the client-centered therapy to help the client understand that it is the client’s responsibility to find their own solutions and not the counselors. The counselor is only there to help the client find the solutions.
Time constraints also are an important factor. One reason is due to insurance companies that choose to only allow a certain number of treatments. The second is to help the client understand that there needs to be a time limit for not only each session, but also to try and help the client accomplish their goal that they originally came in for.
Focus is a two part plan in that the client needs to focus on themselves and not on other things that they cannot change and secondly to focus on the here and now. The client cannot change how another person reacts to them or treats them nor can they change anything from the past. The only thing that they can truly change is themselves and the here and now that they are facing.

Therapeutic Techniques
The final step in self-theory is therapeutic techniques. This is not to say that there are no other steps to be taken in the process, however, the current research only allowed for such steps to be completed.
It is insight that becomes a necessary prerequisite for behavior change and in order to accomplish this, the client must understand that the total self and all the underlying dynamics of their own behavior. Before the client can get along with, if he currently does not, he must know the reasons why before the behavior can improve. The counselor’s ability to establish proper conditions for therapeutic change must be the emphasis of the counselor (Hansen, Rossberg, & Cramer, 1972/1994).. By providing the sufficient and necessary conditions, the counselor acts to facilitate the client’s exploration of self, which leads to self-understanding and ultimately to changes in behavior. In techniques for therapy, there are basically no other techniques required for therapy. On the other hand, the more eclectic approaches that have derived from Rogers’ work use more specific techniques to accomplish certain goals.

Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that with the ideas that I have been following in self-esteem for the past year, the thoughts and theory beliefs of Gordon Allport, and the work that I am interested in doing in counseling the LGBT community, self-theory will be highly helpful, if not the most beneficial theory that I could use. The ideas that Rogers and Maslow had in the beginnings of this theory, although have changed in a mild manner; have ultimately evolved to a better state for the therapeutic process. Although there are hundreds of theories out there, and many that are probably not even known, I believe that even with the basis of self-theory, having an overlapping concept with trait theory and behaviorism, I find that my ideal counseling techniques will be as James Hansen put it, “eclectic.”
The ideas that Rogers had for the client to actually find their own answers with the assistance and guidance of the therapist has been the foundations of what I have been doing since before I chose psychology as my major. Using this theory helps place my thoughts and ideas in a more concrete position that I can actually know who needs to be done when counseling a client.

The References have been removed to prevent plagerism of this paper. If you would like to quote anything from this paper please let me know and I will get you the information.

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Application of Theory ~ Billy ~ Behaviorism Friday, Jul 10 2009

1. Based on this theory, describe the role of the therapist in relation to the client.
Billy’s therapist, Dr. Constanti, first needed to determine the events that led to Billy’s inappropriate behavior. After this, Dr. Constanti took a developmental history and social history taking note of Billy’s competencies and deficiencies. Third, Dr. Constanti determined through not only meeting with Billy, but also his mother, Jennifer, that both of them needed to enter into therapy. This would help both of them in being able to communicate and interact together as well as getting Billy to start working on his behaviors that he was committing at school that would bring him negative attention. Through family, school and individual interventions, Billy would be able to start being assisted in starting his own recovery with Dr. Constanti.

2. Apply this theory’s explanation of personality development to the individual(s) in this case.
In the case of Billy, I find that negative reinforcements, no matter how positive the teacher, vice-principle, police or his mother were intending, as well as the generalization, all-be-it negative, and the discrimination that Billy felt that he had to make in his various ways of acting out against his different teachers and his mother took, assisted Billy in taking the wrong path of behavior. All of these factors where shaping the overall outcome to take Billy from simple behaviors to a final, complex behavior.

3. Apply the theory’s explanation of maladaptive/ abnormal behavior development to the individual(s) in this case.
As a maladaptive or abnormal behavior, conduct disorder is learned through the interaction of the individual and his environment. His inappropriate behavior, starting fires in a library, throwing things at others, physical cruelty to animals (ducks), frequent truancy from school, and physical fights, have all been learned because it has been rewarded at various times. Billy became constantly disruptive in the classroom and behaved that way because he found that with such behavior he received attention. When the other children avoided Billy and called him names, Billy first found that he could avoid the situation when he was uncomfortable. This behavior eventually brought Billy into conflict with his entire environment.

4. What are some of the goals for the individual(s) in this case based on the theory?
For the family realm, Jennifer participated in several psychoeducational sessions designed to help her recognize that Billy’s behaviors were not due to fixed, stable traits. Instead of thinking of Billy’s conduct problems as a global disposition, she learned that each behavior was the result of a situational antecedent.
The next step was the parent management training where Jennifer was taught how to modify, through constant rewards and punishments, Billy’s behavior at home.
The third section in the family realm was learning interaction and communication training. After about a month of psychoeducational treatment, both mother and son began weekly meeting with a family therapist and worked on their communications and interactions.
With interventions at school, along with school agreed individual, specialized tutoring each day, this would help Billy start learning properly. There was also meeting with Billy’s teacher and Dr. Constanti about having them to consider in greater detail Billy’s misbehaviors in the classroom. There would now have to be antecedents and consequences as well, just like at home, if Billy acted out in class.
Finally, with individual interventions, Dr. Constanti believed that Billy would benefit from an impulse-control and problem-solving intervention. With Billy’s appreciation for music, Dr. Constanti and his mother agreed that for every two meeting that Billy had with his counselor, she would buy him a cd of his choice.

5. Describe the use of this theory’s specific treatment techniques and interventions with the individual(s) in this case.
The first technique used by Dr. Constanti was shaping. By modifying Billy’s behavior through positive reinforcements, Jennifer as well as Billy’s teachers would be able to help Billy acquire more of a normalcy and more desirable behaviors. The second technique that I saw by Dr. Constanti, was the modeling technique. Through learning new behaviors, Billy would be able to start changing his patterns of his old behaviors and would start on the road to recovery. The third technique for Billy was contracting. This was used by Dr. Constanti with help from Jennifer, Billy’s mother. When Billy would attend two of his individual counseling sessions, his mother would then buy Billy a cd of his choice.

6. Describe the theory’s pertinent basic concepts, principles and/ or tenants that have not been explored elsewhere in this activity. Describe them relative to the case presented.
I believe that Dr. Constanti could have used cognitive learning and covert reinforcement with Billy as well as the three techniques mentioned above. I believe also that Dr. Constanti used assertive training in working with Billy, his mother Jennifer, and Billy’s school. I think it would have been appropriate to also work with Billy on relaxation training techniques, and systematic desensitization techniques. I feel that these techniques could have also helped Billy recover, and possibly helped him beyond the manner in which his recovery ended.

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The Image of an Adolescent’s Body Sunday, Jul 5 2009

While the media exaggerates that only thin people are beautiful, this is an issue that causes many adolescents to worry about their looks on a daily basis. With the views of the world around them, these adolescents, predominantly females and homosexual males, believe that any excess weight gain means that they are not beautiful to societies standard and that everyone is looking at and talking about them. While adolescents view beauty as being extremely thin, it seems that many females and gay males tend to have a high focus on their body image.
Looking at society and various cultures in our society and without further studies, it is my belief that late-developing adolescent males have a higher probability of being homosexual and focusing on body image more so that early-developing males. In the Berkeley Longitudinal Study (Santrock, 2007; Jones, 1965), late-maturing adolescents seem to perceive themselves less positively and less successful than their peers. This could be a key factor in the developmental view of ones self.
While it is not verified through research, it is my opinion that the issue of body image not only is highly focused by the media, but as adolescence is occurring, the control of passions in the prefrontal cortex may hinder the adolescent mind in its view of body image. Although brain structure may not be to blame for this adolescent concern, it is a possibility as long as the prefrontal cortex is not adequately developed.
As adolescents grow in their cognitive thinking and may have matured completely into the Piagetian Formal Operational Stage, as long as the adolescent has the overwhelming egocentrism that everyone is looking at them and the inductive reasoning that they must be thin in order to be a beautiful person. I believe that they will not be able to properly grow into Erikson’s Intimacy vs. Isolation stage mentally as they grow older for this reason. This is a challenge for many adolescents, primarily females and homosexual males. As long as ones view of themselves as “less than” all of their peers, it will be a difficult challenge to grow out of the fourth and fifth psychosocial stages of Industry vs. Inferiority and Identity vs. Confusion. This also ties in with Vygotstky’s theory of social and cultural interaction.
As an adolescent of the 1980’s, there was a fairly large standard put on people that thin was the only way to be beautiful. I personally had a problem with wanting to be thin all the time. When I was entering my senior year of high school, I was six foot four inches tall and weighed only 160 pounds. I was still feeling that I needed to be thinner than I was. I was wearing a size 32 jeans and yet I felt that I needed to be in a size 30, which was the smallest size jean they made for young men in 1989. Because of my personal obsession that everyone was looking at me, and always thinking I needed to stay super thin, I had actually started to become anorexic and bulimic. Although I battle with my weight today and feel that I must still be thin, preferably in a size 34, I realize that there is also that point where a person can actually be too thin, what many of the young gay community thinks of as a twink, wearing a pair of size 26 or 28 jeans.
Over the last twenty years, I have noticed that just in the women’s clothing sizes everything is different now from the late 1980’s. In one article found online by Boston.com news, one lady said that when she was in high school she was a size eight and today she is a size zero, although she has gained 15 pounds over the last 15 years (Jackson, 2006). Even when I was working for Gottschalk’s back in 2001, I worked next to the young women’s department and noticed that there were even sizes that went down to a size double zero. In another article that I found online, one retailer states that today “size 00 is just the latest proof of “vanity sizing,” (Gallego, 2006). This concept of vanity sizing puts a very heavy feeling on people; especially adolescents that they need to remain thin to be beautiful.
In Conclusion, while adolescence is a time of change and confusion for many, it is clear that social and cultural interaction can lead to the detrimental idea that beauty is “being extremely thin.” Unfortunately, many times this leads to destructive eating disorders like bulimia nervosa and anorexia nervosa. Although these can regrettably be brought on by an adolescent’s epigenetic view, it is my belief that ones automaticity will be delayed in this area of reasoning. Further, it is my opinion that the media not only needs to be censored for their language and violence, but they also should be banned from exploiting that extreme thinness is the only way that you will be liked or loved more than 45 percent in advertising and 40 percent in television and film.

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DSM-IV Assessment Saturday, Jul 4 2009

PATIENT NAME: Miss Agnes Skinner
(Her favorite phrase is, “Don’t look where I’m pointing,” while pointing to Bart Simpson’s ‘doodle!’

IDENTIFICATION & BIOSOCIAL HISTORY: 85 years old
(A brief description of how this patient looks and acts)
Agnes see
ms very kempt. Always wears a dress, but seems a bit odd to wear a sweater all year round.
She keeps her hair up in a bun. Miss Skinner is socially active with friends from her church and organizations she is involved in; The First Church of Springfield, Springfield Investorettes Club, Springfield Book Club and the NRA. She is very possessive of her son, Seymore, and believes that “he owes everything to her swift hand and watchful eye.” She has been taking care of her son since he returned home from the military for 26 years.
Lives with and dependant on son, domineering, grouchy, controlling, yells at her son, causes trouble with others, always making harsh comments about Marge Simpson and Edna Krabappel.
She represents the domineering virago of a mother that emasculates sons in a Freudian manner.

MAIN COMPLAINT:
(Why this patient is coming for treatment)
Miss Skinner has reoccurring thoughts of murdering Edna Krabappel, so that her son has to stay living with her.
She also desires that someone shoots the school superintendent, Gary Chalmers, for working her son so hard.
She would love to kill Mr. Montgomery Burns for raising the energy prices just to get richer.
She also desires to burn Homer Simpson at the stake for being such a stupid idiot.
Finally, Agnes has shown a great deal of interest to see Rev. Timothy Lovejoy, Marge Simpson, and Ned Flanders dead.

CURRENT SYMPTOMS:
(A list of symptoms as explained in the text)
Forgetfulness; disregards other peoples’ rights; controlling, manipulative; feels no empathy towards others; behavioral eccentricities; discomfort in close relationships; extremely bizarre patterns of thinking; uninterested in the needs of others.

Regarding her son and his affairs, Miss Skinner seems to have the following symptoms: fear of separation, clingy, desires much admiration from, repetitive behaviors toward; persecutory, jealous, and obsessive; cold and domineering.

PRECIPITATING FACTORS:
(Are there any ‘prodromals’ (physical, social, stressors, abuse or cognitive causes) that bring out the symptoms)
Widowed, (husband’s name is Sheldon Skinner,) lives with adult son, has dated Superintendent Chalmer’s & Comic Book Guy (aka Jeff Albertson )

CULTURAL/RELIGIOUS BACKGROUND:
(Including divorce, substance abuse, family dynamics, etc.)
Eighty-five year old widow living with her son.
Even though her adopted son, Armin Tamzarian is a grown man, she constantly refers to him as “Spanky,” who goes by the name of her biological son, Seymore Skinner, whom she cannot stand.
She does not allow her adopted son to have any interaction with his on-again/ off-again girlfriend, Edna Krabappel.

INTELLECT: Average

INSIGHT & JUDGMENT:
(Any observations of abnormalities, otherwise write “Patient appears to have normal insight & judgment.”)
Patient appears to have a slightly skewed insight and judgment on specific neighbors and her son.

SUBSTANCE USE / ABUSE: None that patient is revealing.

OTHER:
(Comments on any other relevant issues)
Her hobbies include making silhouettes and collecting pictures of cakes, even though she cannot stand eating cakes because they are too sweet.

(The following group of questions is only looking for hints of psychosis such as Schizophrenia)
APPEARANCE: Neat, slumped

SOCIABILITY: resistant, hostile,

MOTOR ACTIVITY: normal

RELATEDNESS: good eye contact

SPEECH: fast, halting, variable, slurred, mumbles

ORIENTATION: Person

AFFECT: blunt, dysphoric, angry, irritable

IMPULSE CONTROL: inadequate

HALLUCINATIONS: none

SELF-CONCEPT: adequate

THOUGHT CONTENT: obsessions, jealousy, persecutory, bizarre, illogical

PATIENT’S STRENGTHS / RESOURCES –
(Look for positives)
Patient seems to be able to care for herself, although she wants someone, specifically her son, to care for her.

DSM-IV DIAGNOSIS

Axis I, Primary Dementia

Secondary Delusional Disorder

Axis II Obsessive-Compulsive P.D., Anti-Social P.D., Dependant P.D., Narcissistic P.D., Schizotypal P.D., Schizophrenogenic mother.

[Axis II Is only for Personality Disorders and/or Mental Retardation; not considered to be treatable –
use ‘V71.09’ (which means ‘none’) if neither of these conditions exist]

Axis III Osteoporosis, Arthritis (History of medical conditions: significant illnesses, surgery, etc.)

Axis IV Social Environment, Housing Problems (Environmental / social stressors – see following page)
Axis V 68
(See following pages for explanation)

CASE FORMULATION & TREATMENT PLAN
(Specific issues as ‘focus of treatment’, and specific types of treatment)
It is my opinion that, although Miss Skinner is 85 years of age, she could undergo treatment to help her become less controlling of her son, it is my belief that she will not be able to change at this stage in her life. I give the patient five to 25 years left to live, and see no possibility of this patient changing her ways.

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What is it Like For Adolescents to have Gay or Lesbian Parents? Thursday, Jul 2 2009

While considering my options for my research project, the idea of adolescents with gay and/or lesbian parents crossed my mind. When I considered this topic, I thought about how much my partner, Ryan, and I would love to have children of our own, and want nothing more than the best for them. Therefore, this is a very close topic to both of our hearts.
With the changes taking place not only in society as a whole; but also in the Lesbian, Gay Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, and Intersexed (LGBTQI) community– I wanted to gain the viewpoint of several adolescents. Unfortunately, due to unavailability of adolescent children of gay/lesbian parents, and the unwillingness of the few others that I have met recently, I was unable to gain the wider spectrum of reference experiences for an adolescent to grow up with an LGBTQI parent. As of 1990, six million to 14 million children in the United States were living with a gay or lesbian parent (collage.org, 2008).
My first area of research involved a few questions regarding the adolescent’s personal ideas of having to deal with having a gay or lesbian parent, relationship with peers of straight parents, discrimination, and school or community life. The objective was to gain a deeper perspective of how an adolescent copes and deals with daily life having a gay or lesbian parent compared to other adolescents who happen to live with heterosexual parents.
My second area of interest was uncovering myths and ideas that individuals have who is not part of the LGBTQI community. I wanted to, not only look into these myths but, test them and see if they were actual myths or if they may have turned up as fact. In doing so, I could now find rather Ryan and I would meet the criteria for “fit” parents.
Overall, I used several methods for my research. I not only interviewed both of my participants via email, and spoke with each of them in person; nevertheless I also utilized various mediums that I was able to acquire additional information on the subject matter. Prior to this research, I was unaware of the topic’s vastness and normalcy in research. This research assisted me in empathizing with an adolescent child of a gay or lesbian parent.
My research began by interviewing two young men, ages 15 and 17, of diverse backgrounds. I was also able to get a slightly broader spectrum of adolescent’s thoughts from the book “How it Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent,” by Judith E. Snow, MA. The adolescents that I turned to from this book, were thirteen and fourteen year old females, a brother and sister ages sixteen and eighteen respectively, and an eighteen year old male. The idea was to do some comparisons with the young men that I interviewed.
The 15 year old was the first young man I was able to interview. Adam lives part-time with his mother who is remarried, and his father (whose boyfriend lives in San Diego), in Placerville. His mother and step-father attend a fundamentalist church while his brother, father and he attend a more liberal church.
The 17 year old, Scott, filed for emancipation, at the age of fifteen, from his parents. When the emancipation took place, he contacted a long time friend of the family, whom he has always called grandpa, and asked him to legally adopt him and be the keeper of his legal and parental affairs. Although, his grandfather has moved to Ecuador to be with his partner, due to certain situations outside of their control, Scott, who will be eighteen in April, is currently living with friends. The everyday parental guidance and control is still handled in the appropriate manner.
When I started talking to my first adolescent, Adam, I had briefed him on the topic of adolescents with gay parents. Within a few days he responded with a response that I would have expected from an adult. Adam had such an open-minded reply, that I was nearly floored by the reaction he had given me on the topic of having a gay parent.
He had started out by saying, “Personally, I believe that parenting skills are parenting skills, regardless of the orientation of the parent. I feel that if an adolescent is raised in a home where the environment is that of a loving and positive nature that this is the true means of the effects on the child,” (Adam, personal communication, Feb 8, 2008). As Adam continued, he talked on the various aspects of his parents divorce, his dad coming out to him, religious upbringing, high school and peers, “I do however believe that I have benefited from having a gay parent. …Once I hit high school, I was totally open about him. …I’ve developed into a much more loving, accepting, and open-minded person.”
After having the opportunity to ask Adam the survey questions later that day, his responses were very much the same. Below is a portion of the transcript from our email communication.
Adam , here are the areas of my research that I wanted to ask.

1. How does an adolescent deal with having a gay parent?
Adam : “Well, there was very little to ‘deal’ with. I just had to remember that he’s the same person no matter what his orientation was. …Ultimately, he’s still my father. I loved him before, and with him being gay, wasn’t anything to stop loving him for.”

2. How does an adolescent relate to their peers who have straight parents?
Adam : “We relate by talking about how our parents are unreasonable tyrants who take control of our lives, and how we want freedom from it. And other than the whole guy thing of;
‘Hey, guess what I found in my dad’s room?’
‘What?’
‘His porn!’
…I could say that some kids who have straight parents, who raised them to be incredibly anti-gay, I wouldn’t be able to connect with, but that’s a very basic fact of human interaction.
“In fact, it became something that determined what friends I made. Within the first few days of meeting someone I would politely ask them what they thought about gay rights, etc. I would then tell them that I had a gay father, and that I respect you for what you believe, but if we are going to spend time together, you need to know this. The total end result has more or less me having many open minded friends such as me; people who I can connect with, who believe along the same morals that I do.
“Most of the time, I just don’t connect with them, but that’s because I don’t want to connect with them because of their general closed-mindedness, not just for the fact of that specific belief or discrimination.”

3. Do you, as an adolescent of a gay parent, face discrimination?
Adam : “Discrimination against me is few and far between. I’m obviously straight. Now, when people hear about my father, most of the time I’ll get an, ‘Oh, that’s cool!’ in a really genuine way. I don’t go around advertising the fact around people who I know would have a sort of discrimination against me for it. However, it is not something I make any attempt at hiding. I’m neither ashamed nor embarrassed nor upset by who my father is.”

4. How does an adolescent relate to peers, teachers and individuals in their community who are not accepting of the adolescent’s gay parent?
Adam : “If people don’t like me, it’s because of who I am, not who my parent is. …As far as my teachers go, I don’t ever really generate bonds with them, because they’re not supposed to express their personal beliefs to their class. But the one teacher who I do have a relationship of sorts with, I haven’t told just because the opportunity has never risen.”
(Adam, personal communication, Feb 11, 2008)

This opened my eyes to see the differences in not only the heterosexual community, who happen to raise their children up to be bigots, on occasion, but also to the LGBTQI community who happen to have families and raise them up to be more open-minded. Thanks to more and more individuals becoming more accepting of gay individuals and their families, I believe that critical thinking helps adjust an adolescents mind regarding these matters.
In an article in the Pittsburg Post-Gazette, Mackenzie Carpenter wrote that Dr. James Dobson, of Focus On the Family Ministries, criticized Vice-President Dick Cheney’s daughter, Mary, for not only being a lesbian, but also being a single mother. He also had cited research from Kyle Pruett at Yale University to state that children need fathers. Dr. Pruett, on the other hand, claimed that Dr. Dobson had misrepresented his findings to suggest that children of gay and lesbian parents would somehow suffer developmentally (Carpenter, 2007). John Gonsiorek states it best when he said, “A reasonably intelligent well-motivated bigot can distort science to support or condemn any position (apgl.asso.fr, 1992).
My second adolescent, Scott, currently lives in Chico with a friends’ family. After trying to get a hold of him for several weeks, I ran into him while on break from classes. I explained what the survey was about and Scott was more than willing to help. When I emailed Scott, I had to delve a little deeper to understand how he came to be adopted by his grandfather and how he viewed his sexual orientation. Below is the transcript that Scott provided for my survey.

1. How does an adolescent deal with having a gay parent?
Scott: “It is not hard, you just accept it. You don’t see the person any different than you did before. They are the same person, and it is interesting to hear about, especially when you are close with the parent.”

2. How does an adolescent relate to their peers who have straight parents?
Scott: “We relate no different. There aren’t many differences other than sexuality. My peers understand and think that it is pretty cool. Parents in general share the same ideas of how to raise a child.”

3. Do you, as an adolescent of a gay parent, face discrimination?
Scott: “No. I do not, although, it does bug me when people say, “Oh! That’s gay!” because it isn’t. The way a lot of people and teens these days use the term “gay” as a derogatory term, they use it as something being stupid and that bugs me.”

4. How does an adolescent relate to peers, teachers and individuals in their community who are not accepting of the adolescent’s gay parent?
Scott: “When people don’t accept the fact that ones parents are gay, there is not much you can do. Every one is open to their opinion. If that is the way you see it, it is a lot easier.”

5. Because of the circumstances of your parents and the adoption, can you explain in a little detail of how you became Jim’s adopted son/grandson?
Scott: “Well my parents were and still are drug addicts and have been for quite some time now. I wanted to go to Mt. Whitney with all of my old friends, so what I did was asked Jim if he would adopt me. He agreed, so I spoke with my parents about it and they didn’t like it at first, but after a while of thinking, they felt that it would be the best for me. I needed a way out of a household like that, so I was willing to give that up as well as they were.
(Scott, personal communication, March 6, 2008)
This was definitely the aspect of what I was looking for: to find out how adolescents are thinking and how they relate with others around them. This has become a totally different aspect in the valley than it was in the 1990’s.
While researching articles, I was able to come across a lawsuit that happened in 2001, in the Eastern District of California’s United State District Court. In the lawsuit, the Gay Straight Alliance Network and George Loomis vs. the Visalia Unified School District (VUSD), et al, several students mentioned in the lawsuit were filing charges of discrimination and harassment against the VUSD for refusing to stop harassment and discrimination not only by fellow students, but also by faculty and staff of the schools that were involved at the time of the incidents.
In the incident of Sexual Orientation discrimination and harassment of George Loomis, there were numerous times that “students would yell out the words “faggot,” “homo,” and “joto” (which is Spanish for “faggot”) (gsanetwork.org, 2008).” This is an issue that many adolescents have had to deal with not only as a LGBTQI, nevertheless from some of the research I found, also as the child of a parent who identifies as LGBTQI. Since this incident has occurred, it has become more know that “in California, AB-537 makes it illegal for students, teachers, or staff in California schools to be harassed verbally, physically, or emotionally due to reasons of actual or perceived sexual orientation. AB 537, the California Student Safety and Violence Prevention Act of 2000, changed California’s Education Code by adding actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender identity to the existing nondiscrimination policy (collage.org, 2008).”
In the book, “How it Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent,” children of LGBTQI parents talk of there experiences growing up and what they dealt with at school and in the home. One of the adolescents, Nathan, age 16, says, “All through elementary school I got into fights because I defended my dad. I was offended when they’d accuse me of being gay. Boys made more bad comments than girls did (2004).” His sister, Rachel, age 18, had some similar experience. She says, “I don’t tell people that my dad’s gay, but I don’t hide it either. But it has caused a lot of trouble in my life and sometimes I’m afraid for my dad and Christopher (2004).” Although this is not covered as a topic in John Santrock’s “Adolescence,” I find that peer’s and teachers can also be a vital role in why adolescents do not seem to share much about their gay or lesbian parents. The worst part I found out regarding this issue is that “in many states it is still legal to discriminate against LGBT people in education, employment, housing, marriage, as well as foster care and adoption agencies (collage.org, 2008).”
As I was choosing my thoughts and ideas for this research, I also was able to come across all the myths placed on lesbian and gay parents, not only by the heterosexual community, but also by our judicial system. “All too often, gay fathers and lesbian mothers are told by society and the legal system that they are “unfit” to be parents (apgl.asso.fr, 1992).”
Some of these myths include:
Won’t a child raised by gay parents grow up to be gay him/herself? Or, the children of
gays and lesbians will be encouraged to become homosexual.
How can a child succeed if there is no father/mother in the home? Children should not
grow up in a single-parent home.
The children of lesbians and gay men will be sexually abused.
Are gays and lesbians emotionally capable of nurturing a child?
Lesbians cannot provide proper homes for boys and gay men cannot provide proper
homes for girls.
Children are confused by having two same-gender parents.

The fact is that all of these myths are false. “Most studies have found that outcomes for children of gay and lesbian parents are not better – and no worse – than for other children, whether the measures involve peer group relations, self-esteem, behavioral difficulties, academic achievement, or warmth and quality of family relationships (Carpenter, 2008).”
The most disturbing myth is that children of gay/lesbian parents will become homosexual. There are very few individuals that are actually gay or lesbian in our society and even fewer second generation homosexual individuals. The average percentage of gays or lesbians in the population is roughly ten percent. This is also the rough estimate of “second generation” gay or lesbian individuals, these are individuals who happen to have a gay or lesbian parent and are gay or lesbian themselves.
Recently I attended a fund raiser in San Jose for the Imperial Royal Lion Monarchy, Inc of San Jose and Santa Clara County. While there, I had the opportunity to find out that of all in attendance for the Sunday brunch, which were roughly 65 people, there was one particular lesbian couple who had their son with them, who happens to also be gay. To my knowledge, this is the only instance in the International Court System, the drag court, that I am aware of this occurrence. I was also very fortunate to come across an article that had a gay son talking about how he grew up with a gay father (Carpenter, 2008). Terrance McGeorge said in his interview with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, “I have always known I was that way (gay), since I was three or four years old, when I started getting crushes on other boys. My father didn’t come out until I was six.”
There are also the myths regarding the unfitness of lesbians and gays being parents due to the so called lack of being able to nurture the child or to be able to provide a so-called “proper home” for a child of the opposite sex. Not only are these myths false, they are only being applied to the LGBTQI community when several homes around the United States have only a single parent home. “If the parents really love a child and think about the child’s issues rather than their own, there is no reason to shy away from it,” said T. Berry Brazelton, a professor of pediatrics at Harvard University, who is to this generation of parents and children what Dr. Benjamin Spock was to the last (Gross, 1991).” However, it is my opinion that the worst myths are, a.) the children will be sexually abused and b.) that they will be confused by having two mothers or fathers. Let’s get real. I never got confused as to who my Grandpa Bolin and my Grandpa Riddle were. Then there’s the fact that all children living in a gay or lesbian household will be sexually abused? Please! Most children, approximately 68 percent, that are sexually abused, are abused by a non-relative. “In 1995 126,000 children who were victims of either substantiated or indicated sexual abuse; of these, 75% were girls. Nearly 30% of child victims were between the ages of 4 & 7, (womenofsubstance.org, 2008).”
Many of the gays and lesbians that are parents have had children through artificial insemination or through a previous marriage. However, most gays and lesbians are adopting also. Unfortunately, two states prevent this from happening, Florida and New Hampshire (Gross, 1991). The Arkansas Supreme Court, in 2006, struck down the state’s prohibition of gay foster parents. Comparing Arkansas to New York; New York’s court of last resort decided that “intuition and experience” justifies a state legislature’s conclusion – in the face of contrary empirical evidence – that kids are better served by straight couples. Once again the myths of gay parenting were brought up by the Department of Human Services in Arkansas as they were in New York, bringing the idea once again that gay people are dangerous. “Now is where the New York court would say ‘facts be darned, our intuition and experience says that gay people are dangerous.’ The Arkansas court, in contrast said: there was no rational relationship between the regulation’s blanket exclusion and the health, safety, and welfare of the foster children. Thus, they struck it down, (unknown, 2006).”
In Charlotte J. Patterson’s research on “Lesbian and Gay Parenting,” Miss Patterson says that there is no empirical foundation regarding these myths, (Patterson, 2005). The research that Miss Patterson has completed at this time shows evidence regarding lesbian mothers moreover than any other group in LGBTQI community. Part of this reasoning is, many gay men did not have children or did not want to participate at the time of the research. The data on children of parents identifying as bisexual was still not available at the time, and children of non-White lesbian or gay parents is hard to find.
I find that John Santrock covered a wide array of disciplines that youth face on a daily basis, from their own sexual identity to their gender-role classification. As these adolescents deal with their everyday changes from the onset of puberty to figuring out their gender roles, to finding out if they are gay, lesbian, or bisexual, they have to identify not only who they are by their own moral standards, but also by what their peers, teachers and parents think about them as a person.
Although this is a time that many adolescents choose to ignore who their parents are and try and be more like their friends, it is amazing to see that all the adolescents that I researched, all had one thing in common; that their parents were gay or lesbian.
Earlier I had mentioned that I also found a few adolescents in the book “How it Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent,” and that I would show comparisons with the young men that I had interviewed.
Sophia is a 13 year old girl who lives with her two moms. She says that, “At school, everyone’s cool with my two moms; it’s not an issue (2004).” Erin is a 14 year old female who has a gay dad. She says, “Everybody at my school knew my dad was gay. The kids at school made fun of my brother and me, and they’d call us names and say, ‘Oh my God, your dad’s gay – I’m so sorry (2004).’” These two young girls were on opposite ends of the peer spectrum, Sophia, where her peers had no problem with her having a gay parent and Erin’s peers who felt sorry for her. Fortunately, both Scott and Adam get mostly positive feedback from their friends.
Brian, who is 18, and has a gay dad, described as well as Adam did in his survey response; “I … think that people should know what it’s really like; I mean, get rid of this big mass ignorance about being gay and having a gay parent. I think people need to be true to themselves (2004).”
In Abigail Garner’s book ‘Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is,’ “One adolescent She says that when she was in high school said that when they had she had asked their her dad and his partner to ‘graciously please put away the gay books and art evidence,’ they she then realized, “Seeing Dad and Russ go into the closet for me while catering to a known homophobe was too much. I began to understand for myself that if people could not accept my family, I probably did not want to be friends with them (2004).” Although I was able to interview only two young men who both happen to have a gay parent, and was also able to find out more on other adolescents who have not only gay dads but lesbian mothers also, I found out of all my research there were only two instances where the child happened to be a “second generation” LGBTQI individual.
It is my personal belief that any adolescent, or for that matter, any child of an LGBTQI parent should seek out the support of organizations that can help them identify with others who go through the same feelings everyday, who like themselves are children of a lesbian or gay parent. Every person that I now meet that has a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender parent, thanks to this research and understanding of how it feels to have a gay or lesbian parent, I will refer them to talk to a group based out of San Francisco called COLAGE, Children Of Lesbians, Gays, and Transgenders Everywhere.
In conclusion, although there is much more to this research than I can write in this paper, I am amazed at the changes that our society is making to allow my partner and I to be able to adopt a child when we are financially able to do so. As time goes on and laws are changed for the betterment of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender individuals everywhere, we are looking forward to our society becoming more accepting not only of us as an LGBTQI community, but also of our children.

REFERENCES HAVE BEEN REMOVED TO REDUCE PLAGARISM.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE MORE INFORMATION ON THE REFERENCES OR THIS PAPER PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS BLOG.

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What would you like to read about? Wednesday, Jul 1 2009

Ok, so I obviously have a readership, even if it dwindles quite a bit from month to month.
So my question to you is what would you like me to write about? What intrests you, the reader? Please let me know so that I can get my numbers back up and have a much more current blog. And hopefully I will be able to get a posting up on a daily basis.

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Online Class – Critical Thinking in Psychology Week 2 Thursday, Jun 18 2009

This weeks topic we had to write about comes as a question to help us understand our reading of chapter two in our text, Thought and Knowledge by Diane F Halpern.
Our instructors question was, “Document something you remember that happened to you during your childhood. Then, compare your memory with that of a parent or sibling that was there at the time of the memory. See if you can apply some of the principles you learned in this Unit to your account of the memory.”

Here is my response:

Although there were many memories growing up, as I spoke with my mother this morning, we recalled some of the fun memories, some real funny memories, and some more horrific memories from my childhood that I would rather not recall. Then there are those that I cannot recall all together, such as a glass door falling on me and having to be rushed to the ER to have my foot stitched up. I will save that one for another time though.

Most of my memories all came together around the same time frame, the second half of fourth grade. We had moved from across town and my brother and I were placed in a new school. There are several memories that I remember from that year. My fourth grade teacher, Mr. Barnes, was the first successful teacher to teach me multiplication and division. The kids on the school yard use to call me Flash Gordon because I was a very fast runner.

At home, there were several memories of that same six month time frame; getting chicken pox for my tenth birthday, (as a slightly delayed and easily fascinated child) sprinkling water on a hot light bulb to see what would happen (POP), having our house broken into, loosing a few pets to passing cars, having a mental health counselor that was not beneficial to my mental health, hitch hiking to school and the teacher telling my mother, but most of all, the one we recalled that is the funniest and the one with the biggest memory is ” The Cornbread Story.”

I was helping my mom cook dinner one night and we were having beans and cornbread, a typical stable dinner in our house when I was younger. I had asked mom if I could make the cornbread and of course she let me do so. Now at this time no one realized that I had a form of dyslexia, so it wasn’t an issue, until the cornbread was being eaten. See when I was making the cornbread, I was doubling the batch, therefore when it called for a 1/4 teaspoon of salt, we would add 1/2 teaspoon instead. Not in this instance. I put in a 1/2 cup of salt. When it got to the table, mom recalls dad saying that “it is the most beautiful cornbread and the thickest he had ever seen.” Not my recallection.

Hears where our episodic memories differ. I remember taking a bite of cornbread at the same time as dad did. She remembers dad only taking a bite. Well I spit my piece out cause it tasted “nasty.” Mom remembers dad making a funny face and swallowing the cornbread to make me happy. Of course I saw his face and started crying. Then mom recalled laughing so hard at dad’s facial disfigurement from the extremely salty cornbread. I recall that too, but then I started crying even more from her laughing at what I felt was my mistake and I ran to my room from embarrassment.

To this day, my dad refuses to eat my cornbread without asking first if I only put in a 1/2 teaspoon of salt or a 1/2 cup. My mother always brings up the cornbread whenever I make beans. And since they have told my husband about it so many times, he prefers that I just buy the prepackaged cornbread so I don’t over salt the cornbread again.

Looking back now these episodic memories have helped me in my procedural memories when I cook anything. I laugh now about it, but when anyone brings up the cornbread when I am cooking, I want to throw the spoon, spatula, skillet, or whatever else I am close to at them and tell them to shut up. Just remember, a 1/4 teaspoon of salt goes a long way, 1/4 cup, goes way too far.

(Just as I was reading this to my husband , I realized that all those memories, although different events, all of them I presume could be classified as chunking. They all had a significance in a short period of time, and when I recall one I recall most at the same time.)

My response to my instructor’s comment:
You know after this post, I think that this would be a great week for beans and cornbread. Maybe I should invite my father over this weekend if he isn’t working and serve them along with a 1/2 cup of salt in a bowl next to his B&C. That would really make him laugh I think.

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Online Class – Critical Thinking in Psychology Week 1 Thursday, Jun 18 2009

Last week I started a new experience, Online classes. So far I enjoy it, but would rather enjoy in person interaction.
So each week we have a new topic to write a short something about. Last weeks is included in my snipit, so here it is:

So as I pondered and stewed over this quote for nearly 30 hours, “If, as Tennyson says, I am a part of all that I have met,” I could not think of any places or events that had impacted me to become such an influential part of my life until this afternoon. Although I had a dozen or more individuals, it took following a recommendation that I should watch the movie, “The Five People You Meet in Heaven,” from another class mate in another course to find that spectacular area that I hold dear.
Unfortunately I was not able to narrow down to exactly one at first and the key event that has helped me was returning back to school in 2002. This has changed my life in so many ways. The second was the place, which is my church, Religious Science. The thinking and teachings and helped change my views to be a more accepting person. But most of all, the one person who has helped shape my thinking is my life partner/husband, Ryan.
Ryan and I first met six and a half years ago and have been together since the first month. See, I was afraid to come out as a gay man, and was ready to give up living when Ryan came into my life. Ryan is blind and partially deaf. He was born with Facio-Oculo-Acoustico-Renal Syndrome, and although he has his bad days, he is the most encouraging and persistent individual I know.
As I watched the movie this afternoon, I wrote a few things down and the two most powerful quotes were from the narrator at the end of the movie and it describes my husband to a tee; “The world is full of stories and the stories are all one,” as well as “Each life affects the other and the other affects the next.” Had it not been for my husband, I may not be here with you today learning the things I need to to better myself and those I come in contact with.
The one thing I forgot to mention, is that although he may be my husband; he is the most influential person in my life. He is my hero, my confidant and my biggest supporter in this world. Without Ryan, I would not have been able to be as open about who I am, and I would have never been able to be as accepting of others as he has helped me to be. This is one of the biggest reasons I have chosen psychology as my major with my focus to be on helping the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community and their families.
Response to first person responding to my post:
I know what it is like to see others lose their partners all too often, rather to illness, accidents or a breakup. However, I have seen each one of them grow in different ways from each of the loves they have had. It took a lot to come out and accept me for me; I lost my best friend from church, one of my uncles, my grandmother and am avoided like the plague from some other family members. It is not fun, but some how Ryan has helped me see that I cannot hold on to all those fears and hatreds for the rest of my life.
There are three quotes from “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” that reminded me of this; 1) from the Blue Man, “Strangers are just family who are here to come to know,” 2) from the Captain, “Sometimes when you are losing something, you are just passing it on to someone else,” and 3) from the narrator, Ruby, “We think that by hating someone we hurt them. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm that we do to others we also do to ourselves.” Each of these quotes has helped me remember all the ones I have lost to the fear and hatred that they were taught and has let me see the areas that I need to address in my personal life of forgiveness and learning to love them again.
I think that much of the hatred that I have dealt with stems from being belittled and degraded by my dad’s mom, grandma, all my life. Even until the last month she has always said something horrible about me. For instance, growing up, I was always told that I would never be good at anything, even my cooking and singing. Today I have bee a vocal performer for 23 years, and even have requests to perform for special occasions as well as at my church, and have been cooking amazing food for 25 years. Most recently though she has been blaming my father for me turning out gay, her own son, and for the last four years we have not spoken.
However, she tried putting a damper on my graduation last week by talking about all of her great-grandchildren who were graduating. The funny thing was, my parents put her in her place when they told her that I had mad National Scholars Honor Society, with a GPA of 3.92. For the first time in my life, she was left without words and had to say good things about me.
That quote was how I have felt about her for many many years, and although I still have my issues that I am working through, I know that I will eventually be able to forgive her.

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