Abstract

            The objective of this paper was to find out who the person is behind the mask of Michael Crilly.  In doing so, I come to the realization that I have Attention-Deficit/ hyperactivity disorder and anger issues that need to be addressed.  I was also surprised to find out that I have the same type personality as William J. Clinton, Desi Arnaz, Don Knotts, Dixie Carter, and Sally Field, and that not only do the majority of women have left brain thinking, but so do I, and I also discovered that I am not as neurotic as I once thought that I actually was.

 

Method

The study performed was an individual personality assessment using various personality tests on the internet.  The purpose of these tests was to assess the personality of the participating subject, comparing and contrasting the tests given to the subject’s personality and using several personality theorists to validate or controvert the results.

 

Results

After conducting eight various personality tests, I found that not all tests validated the subjects’ personality.  Three of the tests that were taken were based on both the Jung Explorer Test and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) (Schultz & Schultz, 2001; Briggs & Myers, 1943/1976).  While two of these three tests agreed and confirmed each other, giving the test subject’s personality that of Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging (ESFJ), the third test disagreed with the first two and offered the personality of the test subject to be Intraverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging (INTJ), which happens to be the personality type that an ESFJ is attracted to.  I also administered five other various tests which were measured in various different ways.

 

 

Discussion

I have heard it said that to write about others is much easier to do than to write about ones own person.  When one writes about him or herself, they take on a challenge to write the truth or the lie.  I have always loved a challenge, however when it came to this challenge, I felt that I was not going to be able to accomplish such a task.

Over the past three years, I have been doing a great deal of soul searching within myself to find out more about who I am; and over the past three years, I have feared the worse.  My fears were that I would find someone that I had no desire to be and that there would be no way of changing that person.  However, finding out who I am as a human being is one thing, to see what my personality says about me, is totally different.

I would like to start by saying that each person has a lot to gain in soul searching.  In 1999, I was able to admit that I was homosexual and come out of the proverbial closet.  This was probably the most difficult of challenges that I have faced in my life.  Three years later, I not only liked performing for audiences as I had done for 18 years, but I enjoyed doing so as a female impersonator as well, also known as a drag queen. 

Since then, I have been faced with many challenges; facing the fact that I was sexually abused as a child by four different individuals, the fact that random acts of violence can happen to me and my partner, and the fact that I need to pay attention to my health and lose some weight.  These have all come into play to show me more about my personality over the past nine weeks.  Although many times I prefer not to admit these personal issues that I have had to deal with, I know that in the end it will help change my personality for the better.

 

During the past nine weeks, I have listened to lectures, read, and thought about various personality theories and not only how they relate to my future clients, but also to myself as well.  To find out more about my personality, I consulted both my instructor on a few different issues that I need to confront and I took several personality tests on the internet in order to compare and contrast them to each other so that I can discern more about who I am as a person.  It was my goal to discover if these tests were correct in their assessment of my personality or if they were false misleads.

To expand more on the discovery of my personality, I consulted Dr. Terry de Forrest in regards to a few behaviors that I have been dealing with over the past several years.  We discussed both the issues of Attention-Deficit/ hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) as well as anger issues that I have had for well over twenty years. 

ADHD is described as a disorder marked by the inability to focus attention or overactive impulsive behavior, or both (Ronald J. Comer, 2007).  I explained to Dr. de Forrest that I have trouble concentrating with other noises around me and that I am unable to sit down unless I find myself intrigued in what is going on around me.  He asked me if I had an issue with caffeine and I explained to him that I had.  It was at this point that Dr. de Forrest agreed that these symptoms not only are that of a person who has ADHD, but also that it is a good probable chance that I do as well. 

Secondly, I described the issues that arise on almost a daily basis of anger issues that I face.  Dr. de Forrest explained to me that there were probably some hidden issues that I most likely haven’t dealt with or that there are parts of who I am that I have yet to accept.  Since our discussion, I have come to the realization of a few different things. One I have not completely accepted myself as gay. Secondly, I have had a hard time dealing with the fact that I am obese, this is a process that needs the work the most right now.  Finally, after discovering that the anger started at the age of 14, and that it has turned into fits of rage and verbal abuse, I believe that I have never dealt with the fact that I was molested and raped as a child by four different individuals.  It is my belief that these factors may play a key role in my discovering of who I am as a person.

In August, I was asked to participate in three or four tests on personality to be taken on the internet, however, I chose to take more than the required tests, and participated in eight various tests from various websites. These included three tests based on Carl Jung’s theory of personality and five tests that were based on color perception, the OCEAN concept, left brain vs. right brain, and a global 3 personality test.

Jung believed that the total personality is composed of several distinct systems or structures that can influence one another (Schultz & Schultz, 2001).  It was also his belief that there were eight psychological types based on the interaction of extraversion and introversion along with thinking, feeling, sensing, and intuiting.  After years of research and studies, various tests have shown up based on Jung’s theory around the world to assess personalities.  The one that seemed to come up the most while researching on the internet was the Keirsey Temperament Sorter II, designed by David Keirsey (About David Keirsey, n. d.).

In the first three tests, two of these tests corresponded with each other that my personality was that of an Extraversion, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging (ESFJ), while the third described me to be Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging (INTJ).  Due to the lack of time, I chose to eliminate the third test and file the results under inconclusive with my results from the remaining tests that I participated in.  With the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, after answering 70 questions, the results showed that my personality is that of ESFJ.  According to the information that they share, this means that I am a Guardian Provider.  The website describes me as, (keirsey.com, 2008):

You embody the foundations of society, for you are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions.    As a Guardian you can have a lot of fun with your friends, but you are quite serious about your duties and responsibilities.    Undoubtedly, Guardians are the most practical and down-to-earth people.    As a Provider, you can be very cooperative and enjoy serving the needs of people, especially those of your close ones.    As a Provider, you will communicate with others by gaining consensus, listening to other’s requests and concerns, and providing organized and detailed approaches to a problem or situation.

·        You are trustworthy and dependable, and people can always count on you to do things right.

·        You enjoy working and are delighted when others will roll up their sleeves right next to you.

·        You are skilled in logistics and can create a plan for any logistical objective.

·        You are organized and detail-oriented and can follow tasks through to completion.

·        You are usually prepared for emergencies and can provide care.

These are just a few of the characteristics that this website provided me with as to what my personality is like.  The second test also agreed that my personality was that of ESFJ and their assessment said that I was a shepherd.  Unfortunately due to computer problems, I was unable to save this file for reference and internet address information.  To understand more about these four specific psychological types, I looked the up definitions of these terms in the Webster’s New College Dictionary (Michael Agnes, 2007):

Extraversion – see extroversion

Extroversion – an attitude in which one’s interest is directed to things outside of oneself and to other persons rather than to oneself or one’s experiences.

Sensing – 1. to be or become aware of. 2. to comprehend; understand.

Feeling – full of or expressing emotion or sensitivity; sympathetic.

Judging – to form an idea, opinion, or estimate about (any matter).

After reading these definitions, I was positive that someone actually knew about my personality.  This helped me see that there are parts of me that need work, however most of what I see in my personality is perfectly normal and does not need any mental work.

The next series of tests I took consisted of various styles.  The first test in this set was choosing colors in no particular order and then choosing the same colors by preference on how they made me feel, good to bad.  In this test in defined my personality as “orderly, methodical, having a self-contained manner; sensitive and impressionable; demanding and particular in his relations with his partner; circumstances force him to compromise and forgo some pleasures; intense, animated; desires to act freely and uninhibitedly; and fights against restrictions and limitation” (www.colorquiz.com, 2008). 

One week later I took the left brain/ right brain quiz.  In one of my courses here at Chapman University, one of my fellow students wrote a paper on left brain/ right brain and the effects they have on sex.  He discussed that women are more of the left brain type while the majority of men are right brain type individuals; I however am of the left brain.  The results given to me from this test said, “Left brain individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate and to the point” (Similarminds.com, 2008).  The most interesting part to me was at the end of this analysis, the website placed information on the Darwinian Theory, saying, “The left brain dominant type suffers from limited approaches and narrow-mindedness.”  Since the analysis showed that I am 64 percent left brain and 32 percent right brain, I presume that I do use my right brain for more logical thinking.

The following test gave me quite a large amount of information about myself.  This had a total of 34 categories included for my personality and each one had a percentile of who I was.  I have included a both a detailed list summary of the personality traits and a bar chart as Appendix A and Appendix B.

Finally, the last two tests were based on Robert McCrae and Paul Costa’s “Five-Factor Model (Schultz & Schultz, 2008).  These factors include; Neuroticism, Extraversion, Openness, Agreeableness, and Conscientiousness. According to one website (www.outofservice.com, 2008), this is often referred to as the OCEAN model of personality.  The OCEAN model of personality shows your levels of openness compared to close-mindedness, conscientiousness versus disorganized, extraverted in relation to introverted, agreeable versus disagreeable, and neuroticism ( or nervousness and high-strung) compared to calm and relaxed.  Robert E. Franken says in his book, Human Motivation:

“In recent years, researchers have shown that personality can be broadly described by three to five underlying factors: extraversion (positive emotionality), neuroticism (negative emotionality, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness to experience (p. 29, 2007).

In both of these tests my score was high for the first four areas; openness, scoring 82 and 90, conscientiousness, scoring 55 and 79, extraverted, scoring 70 and 74, and agreeable, scoring 89 and 63.  The last area of neuroticism was very different in its outcome.  The scores were at opposite ends of the scale with the Big Five Inventory (www.funeducation.com, 2008) scoring me with a 2 and the Big Five Personality Test (www.outofservice.com, 2008) scoring me with a 93.  This perplexed me a little since I realize I can get a bit neurotic in my fears and worries at times, yet most of the time I am very level on the stability aspect of fear and worry.

 

 

 

 

Conclusion

After participating in these various tests, I have come to realize that all people are ultimately the same.  One may answer yes to one question and no to the next while someone else may answer no and yes to the same exact questions.  One may say they feel like they are always on an emotional roller coaster, while another says that they sometimes feel like life is an emotional roller coaster.  In their book “Rebirthing: The Science of Enjoying All of Your Life,”  Jim Leonard and Phil Laut give a description of our minds in this way:

“Your unconsciously held thoughts and beliefs affect your behavior and your creation of results at least as much as your consciously held thoughts and beliefs do.  To use your mind effectively to create results you consciously intend, you will often need to become consciously aware of unconsciously held thoughts, so that you can change the ones that are creating something other than what you want” (p. 113, 1983/ 1987).

This makes me think about how I can change things about me that I am not fond of.  According to the authors of Theories of Personality, Arthur Bandura believed that through modeling, the observer would model the behavior of an individual that they were observing (Schultz & Schultz, 2001).  After reading, however, the small text above from Leonard and Laut, it is my opinion that one can change through determination.

             Although there are some areas of adjustment I may need to work on in my personal psychological mental health, I believe that overall these tests were accurate in their findings of my personality.  To quote Raymond Charles Barker:

“Your present mind is cause to your world of effects.  Everything that happens to you happens because of you.  You alone are cause to your material experience.  This is perhaps a very unpleasant truth, but it has to be known and accepted if a correct way is to be found to be happy.  Already in your mind are the right ideas seeking your right thinking to become cause to your inner and outer happiness (pp.66-67, 1968/1988/1991).”

This tells me that only I and no one else can change my personality and that I have to make my choice as to when and how I desire to do so.


References

 

http://www.outofservice.com. (2008). Retrieved September 23, 2008, from The Big Five Personality Test Web site: http:/​/​www.outofservice.com/​bigfive

 

Agnes, M. (Ed.)., (2007). Webster’s New College Dictionary. Cleveland, OH: Wiley Publishing, Inc.

 

About David Keirsey. (n. d.). Retrieved August 31, 2008, from Keirsey.com Web site: http:/​/​www.keirsey.com/​drdavidkeirsey.aspx

 

Barker, R. C., (1988/1991). The Power of Decision. New York, NY: Perigee Books

 

Briggs, K. C., Meyers, I. B., (1976). Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Palo Alto, CA: Consulting Psychologists Press. (Original work published 1943)

 

Colorquiz.com. (2008). Retrieved September 9, 2008, from Colorquiz.com Web site: http:/​/​www.colorquiz.com

 

Comer, R. J., (2007). Abnormal Psychology (Sixth ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.

 

Franken, R. E., (2007). Human Motivation (Sixth ed.). Belmont, CA: Thompson Wadsworth

 

Funeducation.com. (2008).  Retrieved September 23, 2008, from funeducation.com Website: http://www.funeducation.com/Tests

 

Keirsey.com, (2008). Guardian Provider (ESFJ). In Temperament Discovery Report. . Retrieved August 31, 2008, from Keirsey.com Web site: http:/​/​www.keirsey.com/​sorter/​user.aspx

 

Leonard, J., Laut, P., (1987) Rebirthing: The Science of Enjoying All of Your Life. Cincinnati, OH: Trinity Publications. (Original work published 1983)

 

Schultz, D. P., Schultz, S. E., (2001). Theories of Personality (7th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

 

Similarminds.com. (2008). Retrieved September 2, 2008, from Similarminds.com Web site: http:/​/​www.similarminds.com

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