Last week I started a new experience, Online classes. So far I enjoy it, but would rather enjoy in person interaction.
So each week we have a new topic to write a short something about. Last weeks is included in my snipit, so here it is:

So as I pondered and stewed over this quote for nearly 30 hours, “If, as Tennyson says, I am a part of all that I have met,” I could not think of any places or events that had impacted me to become such an influential part of my life until this afternoon. Although I had a dozen or more individuals, it took following a recommendation that I should watch the movie, “The Five People You Meet in Heaven,” from another class mate in another course to find that spectacular area that I hold dear.
Unfortunately I was not able to narrow down to exactly one at first and the key event that has helped me was returning back to school in 2002. This has changed my life in so many ways. The second was the place, which is my church, Religious Science. The thinking and teachings and helped change my views to be a more accepting person. But most of all, the one person who has helped shape my thinking is my life partner/husband, Ryan.
Ryan and I first met six and a half years ago and have been together since the first month. See, I was afraid to come out as a gay man, and was ready to give up living when Ryan came into my life. Ryan is blind and partially deaf. He was born with Facio-Oculo-Acoustico-Renal Syndrome, and although he has his bad days, he is the most encouraging and persistent individual I know.
As I watched the movie this afternoon, I wrote a few things down and the two most powerful quotes were from the narrator at the end of the movie and it describes my husband to a tee; “The world is full of stories and the stories are all one,” as well as “Each life affects the other and the other affects the next.” Had it not been for my husband, I may not be here with you today learning the things I need to to better myself and those I come in contact with.
The one thing I forgot to mention, is that although he may be my husband; he is the most influential person in my life. He is my hero, my confidant and my biggest supporter in this world. Without Ryan, I would not have been able to be as open about who I am, and I would have never been able to be as accepting of others as he has helped me to be. This is one of the biggest reasons I have chosen psychology as my major with my focus to be on helping the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community and their families.
Response to first person responding to my post:
I know what it is like to see others lose their partners all too often, rather to illness, accidents or a breakup. However, I have seen each one of them grow in different ways from each of the loves they have had. It took a lot to come out and accept me for me; I lost my best friend from church, one of my uncles, my grandmother and am avoided like the plague from some other family members. It is not fun, but some how Ryan has helped me see that I cannot hold on to all those fears and hatreds for the rest of my life.
There are three quotes from “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” that reminded me of this; 1) from the Blue Man, “Strangers are just family who are here to come to know,” 2) from the Captain, “Sometimes when you are losing something, you are just passing it on to someone else,” and 3) from the narrator, Ruby, “We think that by hating someone we hurt them. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm that we do to others we also do to ourselves.” Each of these quotes has helped me remember all the ones I have lost to the fear and hatred that they were taught and has let me see the areas that I need to address in my personal life of forgiveness and learning to love them again.
I think that much of the hatred that I have dealt with stems from being belittled and degraded by my dad’s mom, grandma, all my life. Even until the last month she has always said something horrible about me. For instance, growing up, I was always told that I would never be good at anything, even my cooking and singing. Today I have bee a vocal performer for 23 years, and even have requests to perform for special occasions as well as at my church, and have been cooking amazing food for 25 years. Most recently though she has been blaming my father for me turning out gay, her own son, and for the last four years we have not spoken.
However, she tried putting a damper on my graduation last week by talking about all of her great-grandchildren who were graduating. The funny thing was, my parents put her in her place when they told her that I had mad National Scholars Honor Society, with a GPA of 3.92. For the first time in my life, she was left without words and had to say good things about me.
That quote was how I have felt about her for many many years, and although I still have my issues that I am working through, I know that I will eventually be able to forgive her.

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